Friday, May 3, 2019

3 Good Lessons from a Failed Relationship


When bad relationships leave you with good lessons

3 Good Lessons from a Failed Relationship

Of what good use is a perfect kind of love? Perfection is boring and no smooth sea has ever made a skilled sailor! Yes, love can be simple, it can be easy and it can be unconditional; but it can also be demanding, challenging and needy. To love is human, and humans, in general, are filled with complexities. So, there’s no way that an individual’s journey to true love, is complete without any grievances, confusion and moments that test their soul.

On average, most of us have experienced at least two relationships in our lives, that have led us to believe at some point that, “This is it!”. However, most of you will agree that more often than not, ‘this’ is never ‘it,’ and these relationships end up revealing a layer of our personalities to ourselves, that we didn’t know existed. 

Ask around, there’s rarely a person who would’ve experienced true love, without experiencing true hurt. That’s just the deal... however messed up it may sound, only when our heartbreaks, do the cracks allow the light to come in, clearing our vision to the things we couldn’t see, and opening our minds to the stuff we didn’t know.

If you think about it, it’s often the ‘bad’ relationships in our history, which teach us the most about love. It’s in our nature to look at the failure, and give that more importance than the lesson. 

We forget, that whether in love or in life, these are the failures that act as springboards, enabling us to reach a superior level of understanding. It’s true; so much of what we learn about love comes from our failed relationships, from people that loved us the least.

If your mind is foggy from all the information we’re trying to share, let’s put it into perspective. Here are three things you learn from failed relationships, that you could never learn from a perfectly stable one.

3 Good Lessons from a Failed Relationship

Lesson 1. YOU DISCOVER WHAT YOU CAN’T TOLERATE: In a relationship that’s getting the better of you, you’re often pushed up against a wall and made to take silent decisions on whether or not ‘XYZ’ can be tolerated in your equation. If he cheats, will you give him a second chance? If he’s over-possessive, is that reason enough for you to walk out? You figure all these things out along the way, and before you get into another relationship, you’ll subconsciously keep these points in mind.

Lesson 2. YOUR STRENGTHS AND WEAKNESSES BECOME CLEAR: While good relationships can also highlight your strengths and weaknesses, one in which your partner is constantly challenging your limits and taxing you emotionally, will make you realise just how much is too much. On the other hand, it will also introduce you to a side of yourself that, in all probability you didn’t even know you had. Then you find your inner courage and the ability to fight back.

Lesson 3. PATIENCE AND RESILIENCE: Relationships that don’t work out, often teach you to be able to control your emotions better. If your partner is hot-tempered, you learn to stay calm, if he’s emotional, you tend to think practically. When you’re dealing with someone with whom there are constant clashes, you build patience and resilience — a skill that’s always valuable in life!

By— Tracy Ann,
(Times of India)

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