Sunday, September 3, 2017

Trump Walks Into A Bar: Here Are Some Funny People Who Tell Their Favorite Trump Jokes Ever

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Trump Walks Into A Bar: Here Are Some Funny People Who Tell Their Favorite Trump Jokes Ever

Trump Walks Into A Bar: Here Are Some Funny People Who Tell Their Favorite Trump Jokes Ever

Surely Canada’s Rob Ford was a good comedian, but when he passed away, cracking good pipe jokes is become little awkward.

But now Trump’s presidency hasn’t been to blue-collar voters and the “economically” insecure. He has been comedian across the US and the world.

Is it depressing that the leader of America has to seriously think before condemning racist militias? Absolutely! Is it terrifying that Trump’s views have emboldened literal fascists to march proudly on America’s streets? For sure! But it’s still worthwhile to have a laugh about it, every once and a while. Sometimes, you need to laugh, or you’ll cry.

1. “Bush, Obama, and Trump go to a job interview with God…
God asks Bush: “What do you believe in?” Bush answers: “I believe in the free market, and the strong American nation!” “Very well”, says God. “Come sit to my right.”
Next, God asks Obama: “What do you believe in?” Obama answers: “I believe in the power of democracy, and equal rights for all.” “Good”, says God. “You shall sit to my left.”
Finally, God asks Trump: “What do you believe in?”
Trump answers: “I believe you’re sitting in my chair.” (RifRifRif)

Trump Walks Into A Bar: Here Are Some Funny People Who Tell Their Favorite Trump Jokes Ever

2. “Where does Donald Trump Jr. buy his groceries after the election? At Traitor Joe’s!” (hotbuttbiscuit)

3. “The Pope and Trump were on stage in front of a huge crowd.
The Pope leaned towards Mr. Trump and said, “Do you know that with one little wave of my hand, I can make every person in this crowd go wild with joy? This joy will not be a momentary display, like that of your followers, but go deep into their hearts and for the rest of their lives whenever they speak of this day, they will rejoice!”
Trump replied, “I seriously doubt that. With one little wave of your hand?
Show me!”
So the Pope slapped him” (crash100200)

Trump Walks Into A Bar: Here Are Some Funny People Who Tell Their Favorite Trump Jokes Ever

4. “President Donald Trump and his driver were cruising along a country road one night when all of a sudden, they hit a pig. Trump told his driver to go up to the farmhouse and explain to the owners what had happened. An hour later, Trump sees his driver staggering back to the car with a bottle of wine in one hand, a cigar in the other.
“What happened to you?” asked Trump
“Well, the Farmer gave me the wine and his wife gave me the cigar.”
“My God, what did you tell them?” asks Trump.
The driver replies, “I’m Donald Trump’s driver, and I just hit the pig.”
(AdityaRav)

Trump Walks Into A Bar: Here Are Some Funny People Who Tell Their Favorite Trump Jokes Ever
5. “President Trump is giving a press conference on the lawn of the White House, with Mike Pence standing next to him. One of the reporters happens to ask Trump if he’s changed his stance on immigration.
Trump denies that he has, adding, “The less immigrants that come in, the better.”
Pence corrects him,”The fewer.”
Trump turns to Pence, face red, and says, “I told you not to call me that in public!” (subtone)

Trump Walks Into A Bar: Here Are Some Funny People Who Tell Their Favorite Trump Jokes Ever

6. “Currently, the Pentagon is in the middle of switching up their nuclear codes. They want them to be longer, in order to make them more secure. It’s not because they’re worried about spies cracking the codes. It’s just that they want them to be over 140 characters so Trump can’t tweet them out.”
 (Figwun)

Trump Walks Into A Bar: Here Are Some Funny People Who Tell Their Favorite Trump Jokes Ever

7. “A Mexican child meets Donald Trump and says to him, “I want to be President of the United States one day.”
Trump is furious, and asks him, “Are you stupid? Are you an idiot? Out of your mind?”
The kid replies, “You know what, I’ve changed my mind. Those are too many requirements.” (akifafzal16)

Trump Walks Into A Bar: Here Are Some Funny People Who Tell Their Favorite Trump Jokes Ever


8. “An old farmer and a city man got into a conversation, and the talk eventually turned to Donald Trump. The old farmer said,”Well, as I see it, Donald Trump is like a ‘Post Tortoise’.” The city man had no idea what a Post Tortoise was, so he politely asked the farmer to clarify. The farmer explained that it’s when you’re driving down a country road and you see a tortoise balanced on top. He saw the puzzled look on the doctor’s face, so he continued to explain. “You know he didn’t get up there by himself, he’s elevated beyond his ability to function, and you just wonder what kind of idiots put him up there, to begin with.” (monkey islander)
Trump Walks Into A Bar: Here Are Some Funny People Who Tell Their Favorite Trump Jokes Ever

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